on the things we wish we didn't do

ask for forgiveness, not permission.

this has long been my mantra in life.

 i've always been the kind of girl who unabashedly does whatever she wants. when i was little, i used to insist that i dress myself, and then would come out of my room and look up at mumsy and ask if i had everything on correctly. she would laugh and either tell me yes or no.

i didn't want any help. and i still don't.

i don't take advice well. and if you tell me what to do, i will do the opposite just to prove that i can. it's like a thing with me.

however.

the thing about doing whatever you what is that it has consequences. even if you think you are ready for them, you often aren't.

sometimes you think you have to do something. you think if you don't, the "what ifs" will eat you alive. you'll think that looking back you'll feel like, if i had only done this, things would have been different.

but what if nothing would have changed? if someone told you beforehand that your actions wouldn't change anything, would you still do them? would you just take their word for it?

i so rarely regret doing what i want. i want to look back on my life and say, "i always did what my heart told me to. i seized every moment and i have no regrets. i took every risk. i jumped on every plane. i replied to every email. i commented on every instagram. i loved everyone i could. i did it."

occasionally, i do do something i regret. occasionally i say things i wish i could take back. not because they were untrue. not because i didn't mean them. not because i said them without thinking.

mostly because i was woefully unprepared for the consequences of those words coming out of my mouth. remember how people warn you of those and you boldly tell them you would happily trade that outcome for your current predicament?

#whoops.

xoxo

on the things that dissappoint us

One of my favorite blogs posts I wrote in college was entitled, "How getting the small envelope can change your life, too." I wrote the piece a few days after I found out I got my first choice internship with Fleishman-Hillard and I decided I was moving to Sacramento to start my new life in food & wine PR. It seemed silly that I would write a post about not getting what I wanted only a few days after my post-grad life was falling into exactly the place I needed it to.

At the time, instead of all my successes flooding into my brain, I couldn't help but think about the times I had gotten the small envelope, which was what the post was about. Starting with my rejection from BYU, all the way up to my getting wait-listed for their program in Paris two and a half years later. Also including, but not limited to, that one random year I didn't make the cheerleading squad and the time in sixth grade where I didn't make the basketball team (which was insane. I am SO tall!). 

The point is, as it was then, all of these things forced me to choose something else. Made me pick up the pieces of my broken heart and put them back together with something else. 

Instead of BYU, I went to BYUI and made some of the best friends that I still have now and love more than anything. Thank goodness I didn't go to Paris, because I ended up living in the South of France for a year and getting a double bachelor's in French and journalism at Chico State. It was also living in France that I met a soul sister that taught me more about love and acceptance than anyone else.

If I had made the basketball team that year, I would have never tried cheerleading, and if I had never been emotionally devastated over that same pep squad three years later, never would have known how much I love tennis. 

We often think we know what's best for us, and what will make us happy in the end. We decide we want something, and often expect that desire is enough.

But it's not. And it never will be.

It's about all of the things we want and need coming together in a way that is no coincidence. It's about divine intervention making things happen the way nothing else can. 

Sometimes the best thing someone can do for us is to tell us no. This opens the door, for someone else to tell us yes. 

xoxo

I Love to See the Temple

I had quite the weekend. 

My parents came to visit me together for the first time in a year and a half. 

My best friends came up from Seattle and Monterey, respectively.

 I hosted like three dinner parties.

But most importantly, I went through the temple! After I posted some adorbs pics of myself and my gal pals outside on the gorgeous grounds of the Oakland Temple, I got a barrage of text messages from college and real-life friends and colleagues asking about my day inside this sacred building. 

I was a bit unprepared for this, to be honest, and was at a loss for words at first. Which, if you know me well, you know is fairly rare! I wasn't sure how to explain why my weekend was so special.

Naturally, my millennial tendencies kicked in and I turned to Google for some assistance. I jumped on Lds.org (please note this and Mormon.org are the only reliable resources when researching the Mormon church) and started searching around for information on the temple, and found the perfect way to explain it! 

See below.

What Happens in the Temple?
"In the temple we are taught, we make covenants, and we are promised blessings. We receive ordinances that enable us to live in the presence of God.

One ordinance we receive in the temple is the endowment. The word endowment means “gift” or “bestowal.” As part of this ordinance, we are taught about the purpose of life, the mission and Atonement of Jesus Christ, and Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. We gain a glimpse of what it will be like to live in His presence as we feel the peaceful atmosphere of the temple.

Another temple ordinance is the sealing ordinance, in which husbands and wives are sealed to each other and children are sealed to their parents in eternal families. This means that if we are faithful to our covenants, our family relationships will continue for eternity.

In addition to receiving these ordinances for ourselves, we can receive them for our deceased ancestors. In this way, people who died without receiving essential ordinances such as baptism and confirmation, the endowment, and sealing have the opportunity to accept these ordinances." --Lds.org

So, as I'm sure you gathered from the above notes, the temple is of the utmost importance to members of the church. It is a place we can go to get away from the hustle and bustle of the world and worship God to increase our spirituality and gain precious blessings.

Thanks to all who made it a wonderful weekend, and especially those who traveled from afar!

xoxo