i think i've mentioned before that i cry a lot. this is nothing new to those who know and love me, but i guess sometimes when we are first getting to know each other, it might be a little weird.
well, i've been crying a lot lately. not because i am unhappy or because things aren't going well, but i miss san francisco. sometimes i miss it so much i can barely breathe. i think about the bay bridge during the day and can't help but choke up. it's awful.
i used to feel that way about france. i mean, i still do. when i first got back to chico, i sat in class and just ached with sadness about how much i missed provence. i've never been one for adjustments. they are basically the worst.
i listen to mat kearney a lot at work, and in his song sooner or later, he says, "sooner or later, i swear, we're gonna make it, we're gonna make it," and i like to think that's true. i hope its true. it better be true.
i've always basically done whatever i want. it's actually one of my favorite things about myself. i never let anyone else call the shots when it comes to my own life, because if things crash and burn, then i have no one to blame but myself. it's been a pretty good system up until now. each and every direction my life has taken me has been totally mine to own. i'm really proud of the choices i've made.
however, it's true that sometimes i don't think things through. this is one of those times. i thought i was being fearless, but i was really just being reckless. do we ever outgrow that? will there ever be a time when i truly weigh the pros and cons of something and ultimately decide it will cause more harm than good. and even if it will do more harm, will i still skip it?
honestly, probably not. because let's not forget, bad decisions make great stories.
xoxo
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